This summer has been a whirlwind—graduations, moving kids into new places, and having our house full of their amazing friends. Now that things have settled, I finally feel like we can catch our breath.
With our kids heading into college and beyond, I’ve been thinking a lot about what actually worked when it comes to studying. I learned most of these lessons the hard way—through trial and error in undergrad, med school, and while prepping for multiple board exams. Once I figured out the right strategies, studying not only got easier, but I had a much healthier balance, too. I was able to let go of the guilty feeling I felt when I wasn’t studying because I knew this system worked and I knew when I was “done”.
Here are the tips I’ve shared with my own kids (sometimes they listen, sometimes they roll their eyes, but maybe seeing it in writing will help it sink in 😊). Hopefully it helps you guide yours too!
1. Treat School Like a Job (I heard this all the time from my Dad)
Think of school as an 8-hour workday—not just sitting in classes, but dedicating that time fully to being a student. The game-changer? The stopwatch method that saved my sanity during board prep:
- Start the timer when you begin studying
- Stop it for ANY interruption—snacks, phone scrolling, chatting with roommates
- Only count actual focused minutes
This method revealed a harsh truth: I was often spending 10 hours “studying” but only getting 4-5 hours of real focus. Once I hit my daily focus goal (usually 6-7 hours for intensive exam prep), I gave myself permission to fully disconnect, knowing my brain had reached its absorption limit.
The Science Behind It: Studies show that deliberate, focused practice beats long, unfocused hours every time. The average person can sustain deep focus for about 4-6 hours daily in chunks. The Pomodoro technique (25 minutes on, 5 minutes off) and similar time-blocking strategies improve concentration by up to 40% and significantly reduce burnout (American Psychological Association).
2. Go to Class (Your Future Self Will Thank You)
Even when slides and notes are posted online, showing up matters more than you think. In class, you’re getting the “director’s commentary”-the professor’s emphasis, tone, and those casual asides that often become exam questions.
What I Tell My Kids: Treat lectures like live theater (I am my theater director’s daughter afterall 😀) You’re not just absorbing information; you’re learning how your professor thinks, what they prioritize, and how they connect concepts.
The Deeper Why: Research on “dual coding theory” shows that combining auditory and written input creates multiple memory pathways. When you hear and see information simultaneously, your brain creates redundant storage systems which makes recall significantly easier during high-stress situations like exams.
3. Master the Note-Review Cycle (The System That Changed Everything)
After years of trial and error, here’s the system that finally worked:
Phase 1: Capture (During Class)
- Take detailed, messy notes-don’t worry about perfect formatting. You can use an AI tool to capture notes too but the act of taking notes is very helpful for learning. Then use the AI notes to cross reference.
- Use abbreviations and symbols that make sense to you
- Leave white space for additions later
Phase 2: Consolidate (Same Day)
- Read the corresponding textbook chapter or article. This is where you could also use your AI generated notes to add in additional points into your written notes.
- Fill in gaps, add examples, clarify confusing points
- Then close the textbook and don’t go back to it unless you need to clarify something. Resist the urge to feel like you need to read it again before the exam.
Phase 3: Review Cycle (2-3x Per Week)
- Quick 15-20 minute reviews of all notes from each class. After I did the book work I would then review the notes up to that day.
- Focus on actively recalling, not just re-reading
- Use the “explain it to a 5-year-old” test for complex concepts
The Magic: By exam time, you’ve encountered the material 8-12 times in short, focused sessions instead of cramming.The week of the test I would simply review the notes each day leading up to the test. No all-nighters. No panic. Just confidence.
Scientific Backing: This leverages the “spacing effect”—one of the most robust findings in memory research. Hermann Ebbinghaus’s forgetting curve research shows that spaced repetition can improve retention by up to 200% compared to massed practice (cramming).
4. Skip the Flashcard Trap (Unless They Actually Work for You)
Here’s an unpopular opinion: flashcards are overrated for most subjects. I wasted countless hours making beautiful color-coded cards that I barely used.
The Reality Check: If you’re spending more time making study materials than actually studying, you’re doing it wrong. For most complex subjects (like medicine, literature, or history), detailed notes with active review work better than reductive flashcards.
When Flashcards DO Work:
- Language learning (vocabulary, grammar rules)
- Hard facts with clear question-answer pairs
- Quick review of formulas or definitions
- And make them with an AI tool so your time is actually used reviewing them
Better Alternatives:
- Practice questions with detailed explanations
- Teaching concepts to others
- Creating mind maps or concept diagrams
5. Use Practice Questions as Your Secret Weapon
When available, practice questions are pure gold. They don’t just test knowledge—they teach you how professors think and how exams are structured.
My System:
- Attempt questions without looking at answers first
- Mark incorrect answers in your notes with colored pens
- Review missed concepts immediately
- Return to problem areas weekly
Over time, my notes became a visual map of my knowledge gaps, with different colored highlights creating a personalized study guide. During tests I had looked at my notes so much that I could visualize the page and use it to recall the answers for the test.
The Neuroscience: Active recall (testing yourself) activates different neural pathways than passive review. Studies by Dunlosky et al. in Psychological Science in the Public Interest show that self-testing improves retention by 150-300% compared to re-reading alone.
6. Master Your Caffeine Strategy (It’s More Complex Than You Think)
Coffee can be your ally or your enemy, depending on timing and quantity. Here’s what I wish I’d understood earlier:
The Science: Caffeine blocks adenosine receptors—adenosine is the neurotransmitter that makes you feel sleepy. But caffeine has a 6-8 hour half-life, meaning afternoon coffee can disrupt sleep even if you don’t feel “wired.”
I was pretty clueless about this during med school. I would hit Quick Trip on the way to class and get the largest diet coke possible and then wonder why I could never sleep well. My kids are sick of hearing me say these rules but at least they won’t be as clueless as I was!
Smart Caffeine Rules:
- No caffeine after 2 PM if you want to sleep by 10 PM
- Wait 90-120 minutes after waking before your first cup (let natural cortisol do its job)
- Limit to 400mg daily (about 2-3 cups of coffee)
- Stay consistent—daily users develop tolerance but maintain focus benefits
Sleep Connection: Poor sleep destroys memory consolidation. One all-nighter can reduce learning efficiency by up to 40% for several days.
7. The Lifestyle Factors That Actually Matter
Exercise: Your Brain’s Best Friend
Even 20 minutes of moderate exercise increases BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), essentially fertilizer for new neural connections. I started doing quick workouts between study sessions and noticed immediate improvements in focus and memory.
Sleep: The Non-Negotiable Factor
Sleep isn’t rest—it’s when your brain processes and files everything you learned. During deep sleep, your brain literally washes out toxins and strengthens important neural pathways while weakening irrelevant ones.
Practical Sleep Tips:
- Consistent sleep and wake times (yes, even weekends)
- 7-9 hours nightly for optimal cognitive function
- Cool, dark room (65-68°F is ideal)
- No screens 1 hour before bed
7. Social Learning (Accountability vs. Time Suck)
Study groups work when they’re focused and everyone comes prepared. The act of explaining concepts to others forces you to identify knowledge gaps and strengthens your own understanding. I will say that social learning didn’t help me. I found myself getting anxious if I didn’t know something that someone else did. I also found I could be more efficient on my own. (If you didn’t know this already, I am an efficiency freak).
Study Group Rules That Can Help:
- Maximum 3-4 people
- Set specific goals for each session
- Develop a structured way of covering the info
- Take turns teaching concepts
- End with practice questions together
The Bigger Picture: Building a Sustainable System
At the end of the day, studying is about creating a system that lets you learn efficiently, remember deeply, and still have a life outside of school. The goal isn’t just academic success; it’s developing skills that will serve you in your career and life. I am currently studying for menopause certification and I use these same tools today.
Believe me, I had a LOT of fun despite medical school and residency 😊. And that’s what I want most for my kids heading into this next chapter: not just success on exams, but balance, joy, and the confidence that they can tackle hard things.
The students who thrive aren’t necessarily the smartest. They’re the ones with the best systems and consistency. Kind of like everything in life!
Your Turn
What about you? If you’ve launched kids into college or you’re in the middle of studying yourself, what’s worked for you? What’s one tip you wish you’d learned sooner?
I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments. Feel free to share this with your kids-I can be the annoying one then!
