I had recently read the book “10x Is Easier Than 2x”. The title is something that spoke to me, but the book was not at all what I was expecting. I was expecting that it would be about time management and how to get bigger results through more efficient work and projects.The underlying message was actually the opposite–in order to do bigger and better you have to do less. . clearing space so what actually matters can expand. With 2x thinking you add more services, more meetings, more content and 10x you identify the few things that give disproportionate results. I had to let that percolate in my brain for a while, but then started to get very excited about this concept.
So I have been setting the stage for doing less in 2026 and chose “simplify” as my word of the year. I have been meticulously looking at what I can subtract instead of a laundry list of goals for the year. I’ve known for months that I’ve been carrying too much, doing at least two hours of extra work most evenings just to barely keep up and having a lot of balls in the air and things I know I “should be working on” in my brain. While some of those plans have been in motion to simplify, they haven’t been fully executed yet and the urgency wasn’t really there. My “knowing I was planning” for less had gotten me through until New Years Eve.
We were hosting a lively New Year’s Eve event at the restaurant — the kind of night that should and usually does feel energizing to me (hello extrovert). Chad and I went in to help during a transition phase from dinner service to the event. Dinner service flipped quickly into the evening event. Guests were anxious to be seated, to add friends, to rearrange tables, to make the night just right. I did what I’ve always done: tried to help everyone be happy. Normally I’m energized. But instead my body revolted.
It felt almost like stage fright, like a sudden wave of anxiety that didn’t quite match the moment. I felt on edge the rest of the night. When I finally went to bed, sleep was hard to find. I obsessed about how I could have done things differently. How I could have made people happier. Those people at the bar seating, I could have moved them to the booth once it opened up so they had more couple time. I should have planned things better and done tickets differently. I thought, why am I doing this?
I woke up knowing something important had happened. You can call it perimenopause-related anxiety — and that likely was part of it. It was 3:00 am wake up call after all. But the label doesn’t really matter. What mattered was the clarity of the message:
Enough.
This pace, this layering of responsibility, this constant emotional management — it’s too much. It needs to change NOW.
Simplifying isn’t just about what you do — it’s about what you expect of yourself
What struck me the next day wasn’t just the need to simplify my calendar. It was the realization that I’ve also been carrying a constant internal pressure with a running five-year plan in my head, always optimizing, always asking “what’s next” before the previous things were even done. Simplifying means trying to let go of that too.
And let’s be clear, I’m writing this not just as reflection, but as an accountability action.
As I talk with others about this, I know that I am definitely not alone here. Many of you have said to me, I feel the exact same way! Midlife has a way of making excess visible — excess roles, excess stimulation, excess expectations we’ve been carrying for years without questioning. And eventually, the body starts asking for less.
For many women, it shows up like this:
- You feel anxious but can’t name why
- You’re tired even when you sleep
- You reach for your phone the moment you sit down just trying to get a little dopamine (joy) hit from somewhere
- You feel behind, even when your life looks full
- Your body feels tense when nothing is technically wrong
Okay so if midlife amplifies this what do we do about it? I think it starts with giving ourselves permission. That book somehow gave me permission to think about doing less even though I still have big things I want to accomplish. Doing less doesn’t have to be because we want to climb down the ladder, it can be that by drilling down to the 2-3 activities that create 90% of impact and fulfillment we may be happier AND more successful (with success being defined by things we do that make us happier 😃).
Here are a few ways I am going about it:
Start an open loop and subtraction list. I started a note on my phone called this. On the list are loops that need to be closed and roles and tasks I can subtract. One thing in particular is submitting an article that has been taking up way too much mental space for 5 years! I finished the study, presented it at a meeting, then covid came about and the article 98% done. EEKK the relief I will feel when that is actually crossed off.
Reduce digital input. Holy cow am I a tik tok addict. One of the first places (besides hiring an event coordinator for the restaurant stat) I’m simplifying this year is my digital life. Scrolling feels like rest, but it isn’t. It keeps the brain alert, stimulated, and slightly on edge. I took social media apps off my phone and it has been CRAZY how much less anxious I feel.
Look through your camera roll. Are there pictures that show you feeling the most authentically happy? We attended a Midwest Mediterranean event recently at the coolest winery called Bear Creek. It was a book launch where I had contributed a chapter on cancer and food. Our restaurant catered the food and our chef Lauren nailed the concept of eating Mediterranean with things we grow in the Midwest. After the event I told Chad, this is what I want to be doing in my free time. When I look at the pictures, I can see that on my face too. So I have really been thinking about what made me feel that way and I’ve boiled it down to community, health and food. Those 3 words are going to stay front and center in my mind.
Pics cred: Studio Freshly
Exploring ideas without committing yet. I have been having some great coffee and dinner dates. I have lots of ideas about community, health and food and the intersection of all of that. Meeting with other like minded people is giving me the spark to want to do some new things, but I’m going to just sit with it for a while until some other loops have been closed (especially that damn article). I’m giving myself permission to not act on things right away and with that has come more clarity and cooler ideas.
For a long time, I thought growth meant layering more on top of an already full life. I’m realizing now that my NEW version of 10x isn’t acceleration, it’s subtraction. Tell me, what things are you going to subtract this year?
